Birth Mothers

When she read the doctor’s instructions for the newborn baby girl, her heart skipped a beat and her cheeks burned. There were only two words written: “To orphanage.” Reading those words still give Cheryl Beach a shiver up her spine, since she was the baby for whom the instructions were intended. Now a wife, mother and artist, Beach has come to terms with the fact that she was adopted. Her natural sense of curiosity brought her the answers she spent a childhood wondering about. “I always knew I was adopted, and I felt different. I had a quick wit and a quick temper and entertained and exasperated my calm, mid-western parents,” said Beach. Both Beach and younger brother Dave feel blessed to have been adopted into a loving, stable family. Beach is impressed that her father, a Park Ranger in the Smokey Mountains near Knoxville, Tenn., and her mother, a local first grade school teacher, had the maturity to begin the adoption process at the young age of 23. She described her childhood as wonderful, full of academic and artistic support, and most of all, unconditional love. It wasn’t until five months old that Beach was officially adopted by her parents following a couple of months of overnight visits with them. “That had to be excruciating for them. I didn’t think too much about this until I had my own child. I couldn’t imagine having to continually give back the baby that would soon be mine to keep,” said Beach. Family scare At the age of 50, Beach’s mother had a stroke. Beach left her museum job in Manhattan to care for her mother in Philadelphia, where she now resided while she recuperated. While taking a required physical exam for a new job she was faced with the medical questions she had been asked so many times before. “I’d always shrug and say, ‘I don’t know,’ but this time was different, considering my mother’s fate, I felt strange and scared. I knew it was time to try to retrieve my medical background,” said Beach. While reading a library book on the subject she soon learned that all she had to do was contact the state she was born in to see if birth records from 1966 were available. Determined not to upset any lives, Beach decided to only request medical records, although she added that she was curious about her birth parents. “I started shaking and wept when I read the information, for I was just a few steps away from what could be the most significant or devastating decision of my life.” It wasn’t until later in graduate school that Beach began the process of searching for her birth mother. While working on a thesis incorporating photography, art therapy and essays about birth-family reunion stories, Beach learned that the process may be easier than she anticipated. “The records had just become unsealed, so for a small fee I got the hospital records within seven weeks.” Later, she gave the state of her birth permission to contact her birth mother, with the understanding she did not intend to cause any upheaval in her life. Her name was Mimi, from Nashville, and she was thrilled that Beach had sought her out. She told the social worker assigned to the search to contact Beach immediately so that she could wish her the 26 birthday wishes she had missed. Reconnecting Nervously Beach dialed the number and the woman’s voice on the other end was dripping with Southern sweetness as Beach listened to the person she’d waited her lifetime to hear. “I had three brothers and a sister. My brother, Mike, flew out the following week to meet me and he was shocked to see how much I resembled Mimi.” The two were instant best friends. Beach felt the same closeness to her other siblings. “There was a sense of knowing and warmth that I had never felt before.” Beach also learned that her birth father had died of heart failure at age 37. The day Beach had anticipated for some time had finally arrived, when that following May, she set out for Tennessee to meet Mimi and the rest of the clan. Incredible, is how Beach described the reunion. According to her birth daughter, Mimi was a combination of Carol Burnett and Dolly Parton. “The place was brimming with cousins, curious friends, laughter and sweet tea! Forget the movie ‘Steel Magnolias’, this was the real thing. It was a homecoming: the Yankee who found out she was as southern as grits!” Although Beach’s parents were concerned as well as hurt when they were told she had contacted her birth mother, the two families found a common bond through Beach herself. “My mom, dad and brother met my birth family at my wedding in 1995. Since then my mom and Mimi had become dear friends,” said Beach. Twelve years have passed since their reunion, and in that time Mimi battled aggressive breast cancer and won. Beach’s mother wasn’t as lucky as she lost her own battle to the stroke that had altered her life forever. “I don’t know how I would have handled the grief without my birth family,” said Beach. “As a result of my decision to search for my birth mom, I ended up with an extended family full of support, love and compassion.”