Grace under pressure

Appropriately named Grace, this Sparta mother of five credits her faith for the strength and courage she needed to take the journey which led her to her birth mother. Grace Lane was never told she was adopted but admits to having her suspicions. From a young age Lane questioned her parents and shared her concerns with relatives and friends. Adopted from a Catholic orphanage in Canada, Lane’s parents were advised by their doctor not to tell their two adopted children about their adoption. According to Lane, they were fearful that someone would knock on their door one day to take the children away from them, or that Lane and her older brother’s feelings for their parents would be altered by the information. “Eventually they had to tell us the truth because I really began to question my aunt and an older cousin. Everyone encouraged them to finally tell us and they did, but not until I was 15 years old. As much as I had suspected I was still shocked to hear the truth,” Lane said. “I had to come to terms with the idea that I was not who I thought I was.” Curious about her birth parents Lane found herself praying for the young mother that gave her life, enabling her to have a wonderful childhood, and for answering the prayers of a young couple by giving them such a precious gift. “I thought it was so unfair that she did right by me and yet she must always be wondering where I was and if I were healthy, happy and loved,” Lane said. “I prayed for her through the years, asking God to let her know I was safe and well.” The search begins In 1992, Lane’s mother passed away, leaving a void in her life. Following the birth of her first child she became curious about her background and especially her medical history. With what little information her parents had given her years earlier, Lane headed to Canada with her husband and infant daughter in tow. Arriving in the French-speaking, remote region of Quebec, it occurred to Lane how different her life would have been had she been raised in that part of Canada. Aside from the language barrier, Lane got the sense that the information she was seeking was taboo. As if taken from a movie script, she learned that the orphanage along with its records had been destroyed in a fire. The church where she was baptized had only her name and date of her baptism. The legal files from the social service agency that handled her adoption remained sealed and the agent in charge of her case was no longer working there. “I was coming to the end of all my leads. It was a very far journey which brought me no closer to finding my birth mother.” Lane returned home continuing to pray for her birth mother, but now also prayed to one day meet her. A few years passed and Lane, now aged 29, learned that Canada had implemented a program agreeing to release information on birth parents and adoptees, if both parties agreed. “Well, sign me up!” said Lane. “I guess the time was finally right for me, but what if she said ‘no’? Well, now I really began praying that God would prepare her for this and that she would be at the right place in her life to receive this news. I just wanted her to know I was well and thankful to her for what she had done.” The search ends Her name was Francine and she was one of 13 children. She learned to speak English at age 16 after spending six months with an English family. And she carried her secret for 29 years, telling no one, not even her husband of 20 years, about the baby girl she gave birth to three decades earlier. One day a co-worker told Francine about his search for his birth mother. His story inspired Francine to share, for the first time, her own story. “She told him that she felt like she had no right to search for me, but she would be waiting with open arms if I were to contact her.” When the Canadian agency contacted Francine inquiring about her willingness to leave contact information with them, she eagerly agreed, and Lane and Francine began to correspond through letters, soon to be followed according to Lane, by an “awkward but good phone conversation.” Within a couple of months Lane set off for Canada to meet her birth mother face to face. “So many emotions were going through my heart and head but after a ten hour delay due to a storm, I was so exhausted when I finally arrived that I don’t know what I felt. But there she was, waiting for me with open arms, and I could feel, that at that very moment she was freed from 29 years of wondering,” said Lane. Leaving Canada was more difficult this time than years earlier. The two had spent hours together trying to connect two lives through photographs and family stories. Lane learned she had a sister and Francine had grandchildren. Lane returned home and cautiously broke the news of meeting Francine to her father. “He was actually happy for me and said that my mother would be happy as well,” said Lane. “That meant the world to me.” Eight years ago the reunion that brought Lane’s two worlds together took place here in the states. “The day my father and Francine met was incredible. I was waiting for Oprah to pop out of the woods. They hugged and cried ’thank you, no … thank you’. It was beyond anything I could have hoped for.” Francine and Lane continue to remain very much a part of each other’s lives, visiting each other a few times a year. To Lane’s children Francine is their grandmother, calling her Memere. Francine was in the delivery room when Lane gave birth to her son and Lane shares a good relationship with her half-sister, Alex. “My faith is truly what brought me along on this journey and I don’t know that it would have worked out so beautifully if God’s hand was not on this right from the start,” said Lane. “It’s incredible to me what can happen when you walk in faith.”