How to be a good sporting parent

More than 30 million kids play sports each year according to the National Council on Youth Sports. So if you are a parent, you’re most likely also a sporting parent. This job — and it is a job — is an important one that can also be confusing. There are so many questions that present themselves even before a child begins playing a sport, and once they’re on a team, even more arise. The good news is you’re not alone. Thanks to resources such as the Center for Sports Parenting (www.sportsparenting.org) as well as books and resources by sports psychologists, being a good sports parent isn’t as difficult as it once was. Here are some do’s and don’ts that will help you the next time your child takes the field. DO • Lead by example. Kids often learn sportsmanship from their parents. If you’re screaming on the sidelines about a bad call, your child will think that’s an appropriate way to act. Also, it’s a good idea to talk to your kids at a young age about how they should handle themselves during games as well as after a win or a loss. An easy way to do this is by watching professional sports games together and pointing out incidences of good and bad sportsmanship. • Find out more about coaches. Speak with other parents in the league or ask to talk with the coaches before your child joins a team. If the coach is all about winning, see if it’s possible for your child to switch teams before the start of the season. (Keep in mind that once your child joins a school team, this is not possible. If your kid has an issue with a coach on a school team, speak with your child and determine what course of action he is comfortable with.) • Offer to help your kids work on a skill. That’s not to say you should suggest practicing pop-ups the day after your daughter dropped one. However, you can suggest that you throw the ball around and then ask your daughter if there’s anything she’d like to work on. When the idea to improve or concentrate on a certain area is your child’s own, he won’t feel as if you’re pointing out his failures or trying to make him the next Michael Jordan. DON’T • Criticize your kid’s performance. When he makes a mistake in the game, he knows it. If you point it out, it will only make him feel worse and possibly make him insecure to perform in front of you again. Instead, ask your child questions about what he liked and didn’t like about the game and how he felt when he played. • Live out an old sports dream of yours through your child. For example, if you always wanted to play basketball but stopped growing at 5 foot 7 inches, don’t try to relive your glory days through your 6 foot 2 inch son. Sure, at some point, a child will probably want to quit, usually after a bad game. And it’s okay to encourage him to play one more time to see if he changes his mind. However, never force him to be on a team he doesn’t want to be on. • Confront the coach after the game. If you have an issue you’d like to discuss with the coach, set up a time separate from games or practices to talk. That way, you won’t chat in the heat of the moment and, more importantly, it won’t be in front of other children or parents which could embarrass your child. • Place too much emphasis on winning - or even being on a team. Regardless of whether your kid is eight or 18, playing sports should be fun. If you’re at every game and practice and constantly talking about the team’s winning streak, your child might feel that winning is extremely important to you.