The third turkey on a March day

To the Editor: Another cold, windy March day here in Sparta. Three turkeys walked through our open gate in search of corn. One older turkey was followed in by two slightly smaller, younger turkeys. A gust of wind then closed the gate behind them. So they pecked away in the snow. After eating the first turkey was ready to leave and jumped up onto the gate and was out of our yard. The momentum of that jump forced the gate to swing open. The second turkey saw the opening and walked right through. But a gust of wind then shut the gate again, and the startled third turkey could not follow. In search of another opening, it walked fretfully up and down one end of the wire fence line to the other. I wondered why it would not simply jump over like the first one had. By now the other two turkeys had long since crossed the road back to safety in the woods beyond. I assumed the third turkey did not see or could not process what had happened earlier, with the first turkey. It saw the second turkey walk through an open gate and wished only to do the same thing. After awhile the third turkey began to panic. It tried going through the wire, but could not. I put on some tea and continued to watch. While watching I got impatient waiting for something to happen. I speculated idly about getting my bolt-action single shot .22 and putting a round right through that trapped young turkey’s featherless head. Then, in the back of my mind, up crops a memory of someone telling me it would be against the law. Gosh, and what if I missed? Would have to shoot again. Would a neighbor recognize the sound of the shots as being gunfire and call the police? Now I could see me with a carving knife in my hand, answering a knock on the door, blood all over my apron, etc. Anyway, what if I wasn’t tough enough to gut and dress it? Ugh. I’m essentially still a city guy. Not the same as picking up a package of parts at Pathmark. Well, when my hot water kettle started to whistle I went to make the tea. When I finally returned to the window, the third turkey was gone. End of that story. I’m in the situation room now. Fair and balanced speculation is raging away in my unfeathered head. Ok, you heard it here first, my prediction for the next Prez election. Oh, so you already thought about it? I recently decided on what I think would happen. What in my opinion would only be just, right and proper, a reasonable thing, best for the country, the world, the whole earth itself, ah, if you catch my drift. First off, right off the bat, I discount all Republican candidates, period. I rue the thought of any of them winning simply because of what I see the GOP having done to this country in the name of conservatism over the last 16 years, maybe back since Reagan. Sorry, but they’re no Goldwater. I am a Vietnam vet, but even McCain gets tossed. So what about the other party? Who, the greens? We therefore are stuck with those Dems, however numb (read Kerry) they are. My little summary: Obama, nice guy, very smart, great voice, great deportment, etc., but in my opinion just don’t have the chops to be president yet. Hillary, nice lady, very smart, has the chops, etc., but we may not be ready for her. John Edwards? Didn’t somebody call him the Breck girl of candidates? That’s enough for me. Richardson? Don’t get the whole enchilada. Who does that leave? You got it. Al Gore. True he has fattened up (If president Taft were alive today he’d be spinning in his grave) and yes Gore is on the fence, but is certainly no turkey, knows how to run a country, and has been right. What a concept, eh? As in days of yore I see a convention fight to the finish between Hillary and Barack that neither can win. On the eleventh ballot, the compromise alternative choice emerges as Al Gore. He may be on the fence right now, but that’s my story and I’m stickin’ with it. Myron Leski